What Do You Do When You Lose Your Motivation?
The last few days have been rough.
I don’t know if “depressed” is the right word, but it’s close enough…
For the first time in a while, I’ve found it genuinely difficult to get out of bed and do the things that I know I need to do. Not even the things I want to do… even the things I enjoy have felt distant lately.
Normally I’m pretty good about keeping busy. I’ll work on the website, write blog entries, post photos, answer messages, plan convention projects, or find some new absurd thing to throw myself into. I usually have more ideas than hours in the day.
Lately, though, everything feels heavy…
I think part of it is that there is simply so much going on right now.
Anthrocon is coming up quickly and I still have things that need to be ordered, dealer preparations that need to be finished, travel logistics to sort out, roommate arrangements to figure out, and about a hundred other little details that all seem to demand attention at exactly the same time.
Then there is LVFC.
Taking on a larger role with the convention has been incredibly rewarding, but also mentally exhausting. There are people that need to be hired, difficult conversations that need to happen, decisions that have to be made, and responsibilities that ultimately affect thousands of people. Running a convention is something I love deeply, but it takes a lot out of me.
After spending time in Las Vegas a few weeks ago, I think part of me just wanted to come home and do absolutely nothing for a while. No meetings. No spreadsheets. No phone calls. No decisions.
Just exist.
The problem is that life doesn’t really stop just because you’re tired.
What makes this especially difficult is that there are people in my life who care about me and are actively trying to help. Helix, for example, has been putting a lot of energy into getting me out of the house and helping me get moving again. I appreciate that more than I can put into words, but sometimes it also leaves me feeling guilty because I don’t feel like I’m putting the same amount of energy into myself.
I’m also struggling with communication in general.
A lot of people have messaged me recently asking how I’m doing, and if I’m being honest, I haven’t always responded. Sometimes I don’t know what to say. Sometimes I don’t want to admit that things aren’t okay. It’s easier to say “everything’s fine” than it is to explain that I’m stressed, overwhelmed, financially worried, exhausted, and not entirely sure how to get myself out of this rut.
But saying everything is okay isn’t really honest.
So maybe I’ll be honest instead.
Things aren’t terrible, but they’re not great either.
I’m tired...
And I suspect I’m probably not the only person feeling that way.
So I’m curious: what do you do when you find yourself in a rut like this?
How do you find motivation again?
How do you balance taking care of yourself while still serving the communities, projects, and people that you care about?
What helps you when simply getting started feels overwhelming?
I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts, because right now I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
Maybe some of us need the reminder that it’s okay to slow down for a little while.
And maybe writing this is my first small step toward getting moving again.
with much love and stuff
-dird