‘Normie’ Friends
Hello everyone! What a wonderful Sunday afternoon. It’s rainy here in Southwest Michigan today, and I will be honest, I quite enjoy the rainy days such as these. I think it comes from growing up and living in places that weren’t so rainy. I suppose the only thing I don’t really like about the rain here is the following days when the humidity kills you, combined with the heat haha.
But enough about the weather, I do have something to share that I’ve been thinking about over the last few hours, and I expect this entry to be a little less polished than my normal deep dives into a subject from Twitter.
This morning, my neighbor Kiro invited me out to breakfast at a local spot called Rise-n-Dine. It’s a small breakfast shop owned by our friend Jake and his family. I have a good relationship with Jake and his family but always sort of kept them at arm’s length. It’s not because I don’t like them, in fact, quite the opposite. I really enjoy the time I spend with Jake whenever I see him… It’s always been because I’ve held this belief that befriending ‘normies’ was a bad idea. I had always had this aversion to the idea of connecting with people outside the fandom on a personal level, unless they were family of mine, and even then, I have a hard time connecting sometimes. I recently started asking myself why that is, and I think I have figured it out.
A Place of Hurt…
Just over a decade ago, I had befriended a couple who came into my place of employment to ‘shop’. I put those words in quotes intentionally because they were not there to shop for a computer or new phones. I believe now they were there to shop for a person, and that person ended up being me. I was young at the time, and I didn’t really understand who I was yet. As a teenager, even in your late teens, you’ve still got a lot of things to learn about the world, and yourself.
Without getting into too much detail, I bit.
I got involved with this couple who at the time were decades older and more experienced than I was, and it ended disastrously. There were talks about lawsuits and all this stuff… And even at the time, they were so vengeful and hurtful, I concluded they never really cared about me more than I was as a sexual object to them.
For years, I blamed myself. I thought that I had done something wrong, and it wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally realized that they were absolutely in the wrong.
And why do I think this?
Because they were so much older, and as I got older, I learned how immature I was at the time, and knew they were smart enough to recognize that about me since they had been just as immature as me at a similar age. To that end, I believe they took advantage of me and used fear tactics as long as they could to keep me around because I was young and sexy to them.
Fresh young meat.
And it didn’t stop with them. The next normie I befriended did the same thing they did to me. Another disaster, a new person. Ironically, the second person took me in after the previous two had abandoned me, and under the same guise, pretended to care about me in exchange for sexual favors. When the favors stopped, so did their care for me.
Did I learn my lesson yet? No, I didn’t.
Not even a year after that situation, I got involved with another, but this time, someone just outside the fandom. I met the third person at a furry con because they had furry friends. Again, it ended in disaster, this time with a steep monetary cost.
It was at that point I subconsciously, and totally without any planning or thought, wrote off normies from my life. I even distanced myself from my own family who I felt sat idle and watched me hurt several times without support.
It was not planned, I didn’t even know I was doing it at the time. I just stopped interacting with anyone outside the fandom, unless I had to work with them. And even then, I never really took those relationships home. Facebook friends were about as far as I’d go, and I spent a long time adjusting my privacy settings so they wouldn’t be able to know all that much about what I spent my free time doing, and also rarely posted anything on the platform.
The Decade After
The following decade, I spent all my time in the fandom and surrounded by friends in the fandom. A decision I do not regret at all to this day. Some of my relationships in the fandom have not been good, but nothing ever came close to the level of hurt I’d faced before that. Mostly all my relationships have been positive.
The next 10 years provided me with a family, and one I love dearly. I’d argue that it saved me from so much hurt, even still I would argue that. Because of the fandom, I traveled all over the world. The fandom shaped who I am as a person, from what I wear, where I go, to who I befriend. It is the reason I live where I live and work in my profession.
I don’t think I would trade that for a chance at a ‘normal’ life.
While I might go through periods of sadness and heartache still, I think it’s better than what could have been without this family. I am not 100% happy, but I am mostly happy.
I love this fandom dearly, so I guess if anybody actually reads these, thank you.
Modern Times
So here we are, in the year of our lord 2026 lmao
I am older, wiser, fatter and better looking than I was 15 years ago. I mostly know who I am as a person and what I want out of life.
I recently started exploring the small village I call home and interacting with people around town. It was by accident at first.
I enjoy craft beer. I mean, so much that I made an Untappd account and started logging and reviewing each beer I try. Feel a little late to the game, but I didn’t know about the website until Rez showed me it, which is hilarious because he does not drink himself.
While talking with my friend Mau in Chicago sometime two years ago at a brewery in Irving Park, he shared a list of breweries he wanted to try out in Michigan. Interestingly, one of those was in my very small town. I recognized the spot instantly. The Distant Whistle. It was on his list of places to try. I told him I had never been there but was interested in trying it out and possibly even bringing some back to the next party in Chicago.
I came home and checked the place out. At the time, they had a hefeweizen, which is my favorite style of beer, on tap. I ordered some, loved it and took some back home to bring to Chicago for the next time I visited.
When I did, we all enjoyed it. It was a hit!
Occasionally, I would go check out what they had at the whistle (that’s what I call it now haha). I wasn’t a regular by any means, but I would sometimes pop in.
That all changed late last year.
In late 2025, I came in for a drink and to record a livestream outside in my fursuit. I saw hundreds of mugs on the wall, it reminded me of this old sushi place I used to frequent in Salt Lake City, where people would buy fancy chopsticks and have them hung on the wall if they were frequent customers.
It was the Distant Whistle Mug Club. Curiously, I asked the bartender about it. He told me the price, and the benefits of being in the club. I agreed to sign up. He pulled out a notebook, and I picked a blue mug to match my fursona, spot number 272. I even put a furry sticker on the bottom of the mug.
I figured since I had lived in the town for years at that point, and I loved trying new beer, it would be fun to be a part of something. I figured they would be fine with it since they had seen me in fursuit before and were still nice to me. It was an odd experience to be talking to a normie about my furry life, but people were super nice and curious about it, to which I answered all of their questions enthusiastically.
This was the first time I’d ever connected to normies, especially about my furry life on a personal level, and it felt pretty good. I’d always believed that a good furry could easily clear any misconceptions about the fandom up by just being their genuine selves. I always held a belief that a person would ally themselves with you if you’re a decent person, even if they didn’t understand your lifestyle or even agree with it.
I always thought that someone like the bartenders and owner at The Distant Whistle would defend the fandom if an argument about them ever came up because they would say, “I know one of those furries, and they are super chill, and not like your misguided opinion of them.”
This is the first time I’d ever made true friends outside the fandom. And the friendships I’ve been making over the last few months have only been growing stronger each visit. I’ve even become closer to the normies in my own neighborhood because I’ve been frequently around town interacting with the locals, as myself.
When they see my truck, it’s not “oh it’s the weird furries again…” it’s “oh! Kai’s around!” and that makes me smile every time.
Of course, I have my boundaries and I’m still even a little bit scared sometimes of interacting with people or getting too close to them, but each day that concern goes away, little by little.
I don’t want to be hurt again, but I think I am much wiser and smarter than I was all that time ago.
And I’m happy to know if my town saw a bunch of fursuiters running around these streets, they wouldn’t feel uncomfortable about it, they would embrace it and understand it.
I think I am starting to love my new normie friends, just the same as the ones in the fandom.
Breakfast Today at Vicksburg Rise-n-Dine
I’ve been going to get breakfast at Rise-n-Dine at least every other week. The last few times I’d been, someone from the town recognizes me and gives me a hug. Not just the owners anymore, it’s someone who I’ve interacted with either at The Distant Whistle or outside the Village Hideaway.
Every time I hang around town, someone is happy to see me, and I am happy to see them. Someone is singing a song, and I am out supporting them with a pint and a laugh.
It happened today, again, at breakfast. Someone came in and gave me a hug. I love this feeling.
If any part of this resonates with you, maybe you’re where I was 10 years ago, just know it does get better. Be the best you that you can be.
With much love,
-dirdwolf